Tami Sue Jollie-Trottier Log 1

My fellowship journey started exactly one year prior to applying. I found out about the fellowship opportunity and knew in my heart that it was the right path for me to journey one day, yet, I was realistic that, if granted the fellowship, I had to be sure I was passionate about what I would be devoting my time, energy, and spirit towards. I prayed and discussed my plans with close friends and mentors and spiritual teachers. I knew in my heart the road I wanted to take, yet, it wasn’t the easiest road to travel. After months of prayer and reflection and planning, I began my application journey. I decided that I would leave my current position at a hospital, since I was aware that I could not do both in the position I was working, and I knew I needed this change, weather I was awarded with the fellowship or not. The desire to make a major life change comes in fierce form and many may seek you out, telling you that there are bigger plans on your horizon- that they can see you doing things that are significant in life- that they believe in your choices and have faith in your ability to enforce a change in your life that many are fearful to even consider. You learn along the way that the leadership you may feel within yourself was known to others all along and that many were just waiting for you to take that leap. I started a behavioral health clinic while journey with my application process, as I was selected from one round to the next. I learned that I was so determined and committed that with each stage closer, I become more and more fierce and directed in where I wanted to take these next two years of my life, with our without the fellowship. Although, I knew this fellowship would be such an amazing gift on my journey of leadership and transformation. I learned that my culture wasn’t as strong and I needed and my faith wasn’t integrated in my work. I learned that I will never grown spiritual or culturally without setting out time on my fellowship journey to experience teachers from my elders; and that I will only make small change in my community, Indian Country, and around the country, unless I impact youth. I know that change can be frightening, yet, I know now that you will never experience change with taking that first step. I am learning that I have more leadership inside of me than I ever imagined and that I don’t need another degree or specially certificate to have an influential voice for my people. I am learning to be strong in a time when the world seems to be weak. I am learning to serve when many may not want to follow- I find that I can redirect my efforts and find my strength and balance by remembering that my original Bush Fellowship Plan is most consistent to the changes I want to see within myself after these two years. I’ve learned that time management, procrastination, and avoidance will only distract me from my original mission, to make a change within myself that is felt my my community and to encourage a positive change in others.