Rose Wan-Mui Chu Log 3

It is hard to believe more than 2 years have passed since I embarked on this transformative leadership journey (that started with the application process)! So much has happened, so many changes and so much growth and development.

I have been fortunate to participate in various professional and personal development programs over the last 20+ years. I am quite attuned to my strengths and weaknesses, my life’s purpose, my leadership style etc. Or at least I thought so. I have always understood and tried to practice the leadership metaphor of the inflight safety instructions to “secure your own [oxygen] mask first before assisting others.” I have even given workshops on “Radical Selfcare”! Yet understanding and knowing something (even deeply) is different from actually having the space and resources to really experience it in BIG ways. It is through the fellowship journey that I truly experience the necessity of radical and intentional selfcare to sustain my leadership in the long haul to advance the movement to elevate the teaching profession. I no longer can look out for everyone else at the expense of my own wellbeing. Compared to 2+ years ago, my leader-self is stronger, more “balanced”, more connected, and more confident. Stronger because I am making time to address unprocessed wounds and trauma towards healing and wholeness with professional help. More “balanced” because I rediscovered my creative side in being a taiko artist instead of letting work consume my entire sense of self. More connected because of a new and renewed sense of belonging to expanded communities, networks and chosen families. More confident because I am beginning to own my power, my voice and my influence.

Back to the oxygen mask metaphor. I read an article that explains the physiological reason why it is necessary to secure your own mask first. When the cabin pressure drops on a plane in an emergency, passengers could suffer from hypoxia, a deficiency in the amount of oxygen reaching the brain. In less than 4 minutes, the brain loses capacity to focus and do simple coordination tasks. Unless the oxygen supply kicks in, the situation becomes fatal. SCARY.

“This is why it’s so important to put your mask on first – because without oxygen, you might not be physically capable of putting your child’s mask on, let alone your own. By attending to your own first, it ensures you will have the mental and physical facilities needed to take care of your children. If you become incapacitated through lack of oxygen, you’re no use to anyone.” From https://www.express.co.uk/travel/articles/758140/hypoxia-definition-flight-mask

Selfcare IS oxygen! Leadership (whatever the approach or technical definition) is simply ineffective without attention to selfcare. WOW.

In December 2023, an unexpected major medical challenge stopped me in my tracks. The humbling experience has brought even more focus and transformative shifts in what really matters in life and what it means to be alive and thriving! I am eternally grateful for the tremendous love and support I felt and experienced from the medical team, families (biological and chosen), friends and the community.

To be honest, I still struggle with having too much on my plate to do and too many interests to pursue! I still struggle with the privilege afforded by the fellowship to truly “invest” in myself and break some lifelong habits of extreme frugality that no longer serve me. Imposter Syndrome is still alive and its effects are very real. The list goes on … By prioritizing selfcare, healing and restoration, I am making room to BE with these struggles, to become comfortable with the uncomfortable, and to exercise compassion for my own humanity. In turn, the space will open up to uncover new insights and breakthroughs to continue my leadership journey to wholeness and greatness! I found this perspective of leadership very thought-provoking: “Leadership has nothing to do with role. It has everything to do with seeing and seizing moments to help a group move forward.” (from “When everyone leads: how the toughest problem get seen and solved”, O’Malley & McBride, 2023). I now believe prioritizing selfcare cultivates clarity.

As I reflect on the past few months, I am clear that the medical leave from the fellowship is absolutely part of the journey to wholeness. With tremendous gratitude, I look forward to continuing my fellowship plan and leadership journey in the coming year.