Janice Christine Richards Log 3

In all honesty before the fellowship my interpretation of leadership was being able to gather people together for a common goal. Throughout my life I have never really thought much about leadership only because I thought in order to be considered a leader one must possess some awesome skills. I worked with alot of grassroots leaders; strong men and women who possessed great conviction; who made a path for us younger people just stepping into that arena, and woman who shattered glass ceilings and opened that door for us younger women. I admired these people and often told myself one day I will be just like them .
That one day came with the fellowship and I realized I needed to embrace my talents, skills and knowledge as well. All the years of volunteering in my community, building on the framework of community and family wealth building. Wealth in terms of healing, wellness, and honoring our Lakota way of life. All that work with community leaders brought me to this place and I respect this space I am in now. My journey began after I made a life changing decision to quit drinking and doing drugs. But I still had the mentality of a angry and feeling like a misfit not only within my family but with friends and in the community. I can recall one day sitting with my father and conplaining about life and how unfair it was and the hopelessness I felt. He challenged me that day and stated, “if life is that terrible here on the reservation than do something about it instead of complaining. Nothing will change and you will be right back out there.” That day changed my life forever. I connected with some people at our local clinic and asked how can I help. We scheduled community strategy meetings and organized youth camps. My passion has always been health so I volunteered and offered aerobics and started walking and running clubs.
All the community leaders and elected council representatives from our district took me under their wings and mentored me. I have never thought of myself as a leader, I just knew I found my purpose in helping others and to me that was all I needed. I would tell people I am not a leader; I am a worker bee, the person behind the curtain. It was here that I learned some of the most valuable aspects of leadership and community organizing.I learned about my strengths and weakness, I was tested to a fault, I fell many times but it was the grassroots leaders who often picked me up so I can start again. As a young woman I never wanted the title of leader because it often has a negative connotation to it due to mistrust by our people. The essence of the term leadership meant a person who is self serving and only cared about their family and no one else.
But what I didn’t realize was people who I worked with and people who we served in the community looked at me as a leader. A piece of advice my mother gave me one day was “a true leader is a person who can bring our women and children together and I have yet to see that.”
The fellowship has given me the opportunity to delve deep within myself to begin my healng journey. It helped me to honor my life to this point and to appreciate every piece of hurt, sadness, happiness, and betrayal I have felt. There were moments on this journey in which I asked myself if I can continue on because life got hard but it also opened up a sacred space for me to heal with my family. The fellowship assisted me in furthering my education endeavors to finally complete my Masters in Administration specializing in Organization Leadership. The classes I have taken opened my eyes to a whole new world that existed outside of the reservation. The trainings and interactions with other leaders and fellows helped me to develop not only emotionally and mentally but prepared me to get through some of lifes challenges in the past two years.
Working with community elders and traditional healers not only changed my perspective on leadership but relearning how it is so important to weave ancient teachings and customs to the modern world of leadership. As a first Lakota language speaker and growing up with strong women role models who believed our Lakota way of life and understanding our roles and responsibilities are the ingredients needed to heal our family and nation. The past two years I reconnected with some women who have taught me about healing and sharing space to honor who we are as women. Challenging one anothers perceptions of what makes a good leader or what does being a leader mean? These conversations sparked my interest in researching more about our ancestors who were revered, respected, and admired as leaders of the people. I realized these people were human just like me, they had strong feelings, they fought for what they believed in, and they stood strong on the foundation of a natural way of life which is our language, culture, customs, and ceremonies.
I have also learned that as a nation we adopted and acculturated to a life style that is not natural and through this westernized thinking we oppress one another at work and in the community. Our organizations and education systems struggle because of hierarchial and predictive ideologies and rules. I have learned leadership about being present and intentional in the work I do. Leadership is about my healing and connecting to others who are on that same path. Leadership is about valuing and learning the role, being consistent, connecting to my history, and understanding that leadership is not just restricted to people of influence due to positions, leadership is about being a follower, honoring personal values, ethics, and transcending others to become the leaders.
The past two years helped me to transform my attitude, thought process, and view leadership as an art. It will take the colors of our attitudes, perceptives, and experiences to create a picture for our families and community that promotes change, embracing and rekindling our language and culture. Leadership is rethinking old patterns of behaviors and beliefs and creating a sacred space that is organic and intentional.
In conclusion to sustain our families, community, and organizations we must shake the dead hand of history that was used to disconnect our families and to their sense of community. Mosley (2000) said it so eloquently about working on the chain gang. Everywhere I look I see chains that binds us about nothing of value, we are locked into roles that are unnatural, we are cinched into work schedules and codes of behavior that are based on others values.
I have learned that my leadership is about breaking old chains, teaching our younger generation the importance of relearning our language and engaging in our culture, I think its time to revolutionize our organizations and school systems.
I thank Bush Fellowship for opening my mind, my eyes, and my heart to wanting something different for our nation to prospear…..its time! I will one day fulfull my mothers advice and bring women and children together by offering a place of healing that is embedded on the foundation of our language and Lakota teachings. When a mother heals, you heal the children, when a family heals you heal the community, when a community heals you heal the nation. Ho hecetu.