Henry Jimenez Log 1

The first thing I would say to a new fellow is that you don’t need to have all the answers to what you want to do with your fellowship. The fellowship itself is the journey of discovering what you need to be a better you and thus a better leader. In fact, I think I have done much better with my fellowship as I have allowed myself to figure it out as I go. I of course have some parameters and goals like the ones I presented in my proposal but how I get there is what is changing.
For example, I thought I would be spending time in Mexico because I have wanted to do that since I was a kid. However, for circumstances that are out of my control I will not be able to do that. However, the process of researching and logical reasoning has led me to pivoting to a different location that while it might not meet the nostalgic needs that I had. My new locations helps me be able to focus on the other aspects of my fellowship such as my mental health and anxiety.
Trying to make my original idea work was also part of what was creating more anxiety for me. The process of figuring out my fellowship has become also part of my healing process. The resources provided through the fellowship can cause different feelings and learning to accept that the resources provided are also part of the process. Part of allowing yourself to receive an investment. It took me several months to accept it and to a certain extent I am still grappling with that and letting go of guilt.
Being transparent in how I feel about the process has helped because others have shared with me how important it is for me to own it and take what has been given to me. It has been described as something that we have earned through our work and life long journey.
In short, getting to a place of acceptance and enjoying the process sooner than later can and will be beneficial the sooner one does it.