Agnes Marie Yellow Bear Log 1

As a Bush Fellow, my learning journey has been impactful. Resources and opportunities enabled deep engagement, but initially, I was overwhelmed and experienced burnout. The sense of responsibility to maximize this opportunity pushed me to fill my schedule to ensure I was fulfilling my commitment as a fellow. However, the emphasis on self-care during the first retreat was comforting, even if it took me some time to find the balance. My leadership coach and the encouragement of other fellows (past and current) highlighted that this fellowship also prioritizes the rest I have earned. It acknowledges my previous dedication to the community and provides a chance to replenish my energy. 
Growing up as an Indigenous woman in a community with unmet needs and limited resources, I know now that the work will always be there whether I am tired or rested. We are more impactful in the community when we can show up as our best selves.
 I was raised to be selfless in my work, that when we have more, we must give more. This doesn’t mean materialistically; it can mean giving of our time and skills, but that is not sustainable. Too often, we are asked what we can give and not what we need. This fellowship affords us the luxury of doing some deep reflecting that our busy lives often do not. 
My time as a fellow has offered diverse experiences, including traveling overseas to meet MMIWG families and advocates, attending trainings and conferences, engaging in online learning, participating in ceremonies, and hosting mentors in my community. These interactions have fostered deeper connections and learning opportunities. None of this would have been accessible to me without the Bush Fellowship. 
It has been a blessing to step back, reflect, and balance self-healing, family time, and community impact. The most significant takeaway from this experience is the realization that self-care is a priority. I’m grateful for the recognition of my work and the investment in my journey.
To all new fellows, you deserve this prestigious opportunity just as you deserve the self-care I discussed. If you struggle with imposter syndrome or have self-doubt, speak with your leadership coach about that or find readings and videos discussing where this comes from and how to work through it. Even the most outstanding leaders have felt this at times; it’s ok to experience this; just don’t stay there. Utilize this fellowship to explore those things, talk to other fellows, and ask questions. You are here because of the work you have already done; now, ask yourself what you need to fill your cup back up. You will be embraced, encouraged, and empowered all the way around. It is a beautiful community to be a part of.