Looking back on my fellowship year, I am amazed and grateful for the growth that I've experienced and at how much I have learned about the word POWER. For my second learning log entry, I've decided to summarize a Commencement Speech that I gave at Minot State University just two days ago. Many of the lessons I've learned about POWER directly relate to my leadership journey toward my Bush Fellowship Application and to my year functioning as a fellow. The speech provided a reflection of myself relating to the surprising number of roles that I have to live out every day and how those roles can conflict with personal, societal, familial, and cultural expectations. I felt that this speech came at a time in my life when I needed personal reflection, especially since I have had such an enriching year of learning, challenging myself, and challenging others through my time as a Bush Fellow. This reflection also helped me focus on the upcoming year of Fellowship and to prioritize experiences that I want to pursue during my second year of Fellowship. I am thankful that I chose to plan for a two year period with Bush Fellowship, as I feel that the first year is about establishing core principles of growth, engaging in basic enrichment of activities and interactions, and reflecting on growth, development, and stagnation in certain areas. The second year feels like an opportunity, now since being grounded in a role, to push myself even further than I did in the first year and to challenge myself to thrive in a world that is looking for leaders. Personally, I believe we can no longer promote typical leaders. I suspect its time to avoid self-focused leadership and redirect our energies to find the extraordinary in a field of ordinary leaders which is what being part of this fellowship is teaching me.

In my personal leadership journey I've learned that POWER, in some way, shape, or form, has been influential in my growth as a leader. I've been burned by power, I have been empowered by power, I've been given power, and I've had power taking away and I still have so much to learn. I summarized in five points where POWER directly relates, or at least, is highly correlated to the development, the maintenance, and the sustainability of leaders in our world. I feel at times, when I could, I had to use opportunities to create power so that I could see myself as a leader and hopefully led others to see the leader within me.

The first message that I highlight relates to the POWER OF EXPECTANCY, which is a theory used in psychology suggesting that in order to achieve a desired outcome in life, one must state the outcome, believe the outcome will happen, and expect it to happen in your life. I used this theory towards my goal of being awarded the Bush Fellowship. I learned of the fellowship one year prior to applying and immediately called my mother and told her that I have found exactly what would help me achieve my goals and that it would take the year to focus my energy on moving in the direction of applying and being ready in my life to do what would be called of me, not if, but when I would become a fellow. I did not say this to be prideful, I said this to be expectant, because I felt this is what was needed in my life and that the time would be right in the upcoming year, which I found out, it was. Expectancy is powerful and since receiving the Fellowship, I've have increased my level of expectancy, I increase with every time someone from the foundation shares the advice to THINK BIGGER than you have in the past. I've been surprised in the Power of the statement of THINKING BIGGER and EXPECTING BIGGER in your life, in terms of leadership growth, leadership opportunities, and breadth of leadership impact that I have to potential of making in my lifetime. I have now learned to increase my expectancy to meet my potential, which has increased beyond what I imagined when I first expected to be a Fellow and I am grateful for this experience.

The second message that I highlight is that A POWERFUL FIRST IMPRESSION REALLY DOES MATTER in leadership development. I’m living proof. A powerful first impression was the reason that I was selected to give the 2017 commencement address. In 2015, MSU's President Shirley heard a speech that I gave at the 2015 Alumni Award Banquet and we had a brief interaction where he shared his gratitude for my acceptance speech that afternoon. This brief moment was the only time we interacted and I am sure this is the only time he's heard me speak in public. However, two years later, last month to be exact, President Shirley emailed me, inviting me to give the commencement speech for the graduating class. He shared that he remembered my speech from the young Alumni awards ceremony and he felt I had something that the graduating class would like to hear.

In summary, we've all heard that first impression are important and I testify that they definitely are, and if you can put time and energy into making a powerful, yet, positive, first impression, it can lead you to an audience of people who are waiting to hear your words. These brief moments can lead to you being an influential person in society. Yet, it is so important that future leaders take charge of the moments and look for an opportunity in every situation. Each person, who desires leadership, has the responsibility of making it happen for themselves and being an active agent in their life's journey. I’m a firm believer in making the most of every moment, and making moments into Opportunities. I believe in the Power of BRIEF MOMENTS and INTERACTIONS with people, where we have a chance to leave an imprint, maybe in their mind, heart, or soul. Something that makes another say, I remember that person, and what I've come to learn throughout this journey is that the important part is not just making an impression to be remember, but making the right impression to be called on in important times to influence others.

Next, the third phrase is that ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE IS A POWERFUL MYTH. Anything has no power to become possible without the guiding force of your actions. In order to move into a leadership role, one has to first recognize key moments and second turn those moments into opportunities where our acts of bravery and courage, our acts of service and kindness, and even in our quiet humility we are paving our ways for opportunities to blossom into leadership endeavors, not for just any one, but for every one. I believe WE MAKE EVERYTHING POSSIBLE. I reflect on the courage that it took for me to apply to the Bush Fellowship and I how I actively sought out this opportunity, how I was vulnerable, genuine, and passionate when I wrote my essays, and how I had to make a choice to be brave during my interview, despite, fears inside. I believe that everything is possible with our choice to make it so. After completing almost a year of my fellowship journey, I can see that there is even more that I can be doing to make more things possible for myself. I can see how, at times, I miss opportunities, or let them go by, mainly because I've struggled with managing my time, utilizing my resources, and caring for myself. In order to make our everything possibly in leadership, I am learning that we must always remember that we are in the driver seat and not the passenger on this journey. We choose where and how we need to use our limited amounts of daily energy, in order to make the most of our time.

The fourth point is a question that one must as themselves daily as a leader. YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER FEAR, OR FEAR HAS NO POWER OVER YOU? Most people tend to live in fear of making decisions, fear of the outcomes of decisions, and regrets of the decisions that were made or not made. I’ve found that even minor decisions can be dreadful and paralyzing for some of us. We live In fear of regret essentially because we know we only have so much time. Some people hear their life's calling all of their life without ever experiencing the joy of doing exactly what God created them to do and I've done the same. There came a time in my life when my decisions were two. The only way I could end move forward was to look my fear in the face, and it all had to do with not being successful in life. My fear was driven by fear of not being successful, but I finally figured out, I was using someone else’s definition of success, that’s what was keeping me afraid. Since being a Bush Fellow, I have faced many fears and I have interacted with many who lead with fear, make decisions based on fears, and miss opportunities based on fear. Some of the time, these leaders have hurt, rejected, or mislead me, when seeking leadership, collaboration, or partnership, because of fear. I am surprised to learn that the power of being a female leader can invoke fear in others, even to the point of stagnation versus growth.

The fifth and final point of power is that SUCCESS DOES NOT EQUAL POWER, NOT IN MY DEFINITION AT LEAST. I had to write it down on an index card what my definition of success was and in my own words, in order to restructure my perceptions, expectations, and motivations for change in my life. This was the major question that changed the trajectory of my life, since when I answered this question, using my own words, I could easily see that I was on journey towards someone else's ideal of success, an external success. Once I eliminated what society viewed as success, and I answered this question by staying true to what motivated me, what gave me peace, what gave me pride, and what made me feel productive? In summary, what was the driving force behind my actions towards success. It became very clear to me, the path I was taking about 9 years ago, when I first has myself this question, was not the right path to be traveling; and that a change would have to come my way, even though, the change had no guarantee, especially, when I was traveling down a road that was newly defined as my path. I've learned that when leaders are faced with these opportunities now, these decisions that need to be made, can present more often as your growth increases, your network expands, and you open up your area of expertise, and it can feel confusing, overwhelming, and even draining. At times, you may want to retreat from success and you may want others to lead while you rest, and through this fellowship, I am learning that there is no success in taking on more than your meant to do, based on your definition of what makes you successful. I've learned that reminding myself of my limits as a leader and taking time to heal my hurts, feed my fatigue with rest, and clear my mind with peaceful compassion, that I can be a happier, more effective leader, a type of leader that others will gravitate towards, stand along side, and even hold up when needed.

Miigwech to the lessons learned on during the first phase of my Bush Fellowship Journey. I am eager to take these lessons and apply them to managing, strengthening, nurturing, and caring for the leader within me during my final phase of fellowship.