In my journey with the Fellowship, I have learned that your plans can change because life does. To be able to value the changes and work through them is important in learning how to do your work in a manner that is effective and meaningful. My plans changed, not drastically, but I had to view my whole being in my work, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. I found I needed to weave in my spiritual wellbeing and practices as I believe my work is more than intellectual, it is also spiritual. I prayed about my initial Fellowship application, what do I do that will be effective and this is where it has lead me and I have a lot farther to go yet. I learned to not isolate myself because that brings doubts and have appreciated my coaching calls because they reminded me that my work is spiritual and heart work. 

No matter where we are in the world, violence against women is a global issue and although some countries and places lead this work, which is the premises of my work is learn from them, I have learned that we face the same issues regarding funding, law, political, patriarchy, etc. To have such discussions of successful work to frustrations of the many issues that create barriers to womens safety, was solidarity of a global movement. 

I have also learned things happen for a reason, because if my plan to go to New Zealand were in motion, I would be there with an Elder right now during their massive earthquakes and after shocks. The Maori had asked us to wait because they wanted us to come during a time of their conference, so not only would I get to visit all the places I wanted to visit and learn from, I also have the opportunity to sit with all these amazing women and learn from so many of them in one place. 

I have learned to appreciate my ever growing network, although it can be much to handle and trying to respond to emails and inquiries, I am grateful for the connections. I also have learned how to say no, which was probably one of my biggest challenges in the work I do. I have people wanting me to write for grants, proposals, grant reviewer, etc., and I just had to say I no, I cannot do this at this time. First I had to tell that to myself, setting healthy boundaries, then to those who were requesting my help. 

I have had to learn about leadership. I still struggle with that language, but to me, having the spiritual guidance to do the work and following that is leadership, having vision for a better future through work that was done through critical thinking is leadership, although I have been called a radical. Leadership is also acting out of love and commitment to all those you love by jumping into a freezing river with water up to your chest and water snakes gliding around your legs while you sprayed in the face by militarized police and military with pepper spray and who are armed with weapons and snipers on top of a hill looking down on you ready to die for those you love and the future generations, that is leadership. Leadership is messy, funny, dangerous and taking a stand for who you are and what you believe in out of love, compassion and commitment. 

I have learned so much more about the work I do and the beautiful minds who survived and set in motion this work. I have had to look through the lens of the opposing side of this work and try to see what they see, although I believe they are misguided and what they have promoted has a dangerous backlash to victims. I have learned and heard from them in person that they are not evil, they believe as I do that we are doing the right thing. I learned that we can have opposing sides and to win a battle, one must learn from their tools how they function in order to defeat them. We can do this respectfully and agree to disagree but none the less, our work must be victims centered and not one from a political stand. 

I have learned there is so much more out there to learn and explore, that there is so much good being done and I want to go and see and learn it all. I have learned with my Bush Fellow that I can dream and follow them, that I can make a difference especially at very dark time we are facing. I have learned that I cannot control the outcomes of what has been set in motion in this country, just that I have to keep my head up and keep moving because now, more than ever, what I am doing is going to be in great need. I have learned to trust in myself and that no matter what changes come, I am ready to meet it. 

Thank you!