December was one of the slowest months for me. I have finished my first quarter of school, landed more major projects for next year and set off on an ambition to build the social enterprise from the ground up. I have reduced my team even more and I aim to rebuilding and working with a talent that aligns with the organization’s values. The slowness of the month with the holidays gave me an opportunity to take a two-week break and travel and spend with my family; The cost of this vacation was two and a half years of hard work. I have also hired my second business coach to help me outline strategic vision, recruiting plan and deal with a few stresses that have come from finding a good level talent. I have had to interview over 100 candidates for the two vacant positions open in my company and I am realizing the talent in my industry is bent towards doing their job the same way they have done.

I have never thought it would be difficult to hire for a role that pays six figures and finding the right talent that has both the proactive nature of management and the will to make this world better. I came to the realization that some of our educational institutions failed to teach individuals how to critically think, anticipate problems or to take risks. I have also realized of two positions we have posted, there were 100 applicants none of which were women. I am so determined to make this industry women magnate so that young women who would be great at these roles aspire to part of this industry. I am a strong believer that a diverse industry performs better than an industry with just one dominant gender.

I have built so much confidence and strength as a leader this year and this month; I have never been tested as I have in 2019. The past year presented me with some very difficult moments in which I could do nothing but strongly hold back the tears that were forming in my eyes due to stress and being placed in difficult situations. There were numerous times that I questioned the challenges I confront and why it is so hard to do what I do in this industry and that maybe I was not meant to be the pioneer to make these changes. With the help of my coach, the doubts that arise have begun to subside, however, there have been instances where they resurface. Leadership is a journey that leads you through windy roads and some of those windy roads are lonely and cold. As I set up to be a serial social entrepreneur with an ambition to change our state, our industry and the world, I am finding solace that somethings I can ask for help and some things I have to solve on my own.

This month, I am working on a strategic vision, goals, organization culture and self-care. My coach Christina is a wonderful and challenging woman who helps me think the grand vision of the type of organization I want to run. Part of the self-care is to go through an exercise she has given me to track my time and figure out where my time suckers are, as she calls them. I am starting this journey of rebuilding with a really low level of energy that came from constant drain from work and a team that does not meet my expectations. I am hoping 2020 brings with it new energy and bright future, full of purpose and a team that can help me carry out the mission and impact of the organization to the next level.