Wow! Where did a whole year go? It’s surreal at times when I reflect back at the entire process of applying, interviewing, and being awarded such an honorable opportunity. At first, it was daunting to not disappoint, to not veer from the original plan, but as time passed I learned that this fellowship is similar to life. We always set out with the best intentions, but in order to learn and grow we may need to experience a different path. The exciting part is not one human has the same path and that is what truly makes us all so special. This uniqueness also allows us to give what we know and share the experiences that has enriched our lives. 

I guess as I take this all in I’m amazed how much this fellowship has truly changed my perspective on life. It has shown me the importance of me and how investing in me allows me to create, recreate, and stay energized to affect others. In addition, this process has created a need for more. I never really thought of myself as a person to settle, but I have this great urgency to make an impact; however, this sometimes makes me impatient that things aren’t moving as quickly as I want them to progress. I often have to step back and reevaluate and realize that sometimes people don’t want change. Change is scary and difficult even when the end results will be better. However, we often get wrapped up in life and the present moment and can’t see beyond what is already there. I understand that, but I also am saddened by this. Especially, when we all have such great potential and means for a greater life. It may be difficult and we may need to really work, but it’s there if we want it. 

Did I mention grateful yet? When I think of the investment and confidence that the Bush Foundation instilled in me by awarding the fellowship to me, I get a lump in my throat and tear up every time. I was the shyest child in school and never had a lot of confidence. Having said that, there was always a part of me that knew I could do anything I set my mind to. Nevertheless, I didn’t really have “big” dreams to change the world.  I did know I had a gift of compassion and giving. Then after pursuing my own higher education degree and seeing how much the process changed my life, I knew I needed to help others follow their educational dreams.

While the original plan of the fellowship has changed, I am still on track to finish my dissertation ahead of schedule. The topic of my dissertation is The Glass Ceiling Controlling Promotion of Women in Academia: A Phenomenological Study. I will be studying women leaders in executive positions in higher education and their underrepresentation in leadership roles. While women are obtaining more college degrees than men, there still exists an imbalance of women leaders in higher education institutions. I chose a phenomenological to capture the lived experiences of the study participants. The study participants will consist of female executive leaders, of African-American, Asian, Caucasian, and Native American descent in leadership positions at four-year non-profit higher education institutions in the U.S. The study is designed to focus on positive approaches and experiences that influenced and contributed to the success of these women.

The process of the doctoral journey has been filled with many peaks and valleys. As I reflect back, there seems to be a lot more low times, but this has made me appreciate the successes even more. The fellowship has taught me the importance of taking care of myself. I have always been the type of person to do for others. I’ve started focusing on my mental health as well as physical health. Since I was awarded the fellowship, I’ve lost 50lbs., started to workout consistently, and tried to sleep more. I have made a practice to journal and conscientiously reflect, which has increased my focus and gratefulness.

Making these changes have made me happier as a person and a much better leader. I am excited about many training opportunities to enhance my leadership skills, personal, and professional development that are coming up this year. I am hopeful the next year of the fellowship will be just as gratifying as the first year, if not more. I continue to follow the other fellows and enjoy seeing their journey and growth as leaders. I am truly thankful every day for this opportunity and will not take one moment of it for granted. “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear”~Mark Twain